SPRINT ZERO

Your agency sent another update. Wireframes. Journey maps. Stakeholder matrices. You nod like you understand what any of this means. You don't. You just know your website still doesn't exist.

You're not stupid. You're terrified. Terrified you're being taken advantage of. Terrified the work is bad but you won't know until it's too late. Terrified you're paying $50,000 for theater while your competitors are already selling.

Your impatience isn't a character flaw. It's market intelligence.

Every time you ask "when will this be done?" you get another wireframe. Another timeline that starts next month. Another explanation about why complexity requires collaboration.

They're not lying to you. They're lying to themselves. They don't know either.

Why Every Website Takes Six Months

Agencies Are Theater Companies

I've built 200+ websites. I know exactly how long it takes. Five days. Maybe four if I skip lunch.

Agencies know this too. They've just figured out how to stretch five days of work into six months of billing. Stakeholder alignment sessions that align no one. Discovery workshops that discover what you told them in the first meeting.

Every "best practice" is procrastination with a business card.

Committees Kill Everything

Decision by consensus is decision by no one. Your website doesn't need approval from accounting, input from HR, or feedback from your mother-in-law's neighbor who "knows design."

Committees exist to distribute blame, not create excellence.

After 15 years, I've learned: great work comes from clear constraints, not endless flexibility.

Methodologies Are Amateur Hour

I've seen every "proven methodology." They all translate to the same thing: "We don't know what we're doing, so we'll follow someone else's template."

Wireframes that wire nothing. Mood boards that capture no mood. User journey maps for journeys no user will take. I've wasted years creating this theater before I learned better.

Process is what you do when you can't do the work.

"Collaboration" Means You Do Our Job

They call it collaboration. You call it confusion. Every meeting where they ask for your input is them transferring responsibility back to you—the person who hired them precisely because you don't want this responsibility.

"What do you think of this user journey?" You think it looks like someone's homework. "Does this wireframe capture your vision?" Your vision was a website that converts visitors into customers. This is boxes with Lorem Ipsum.

You hired experts because you need autonomy from decisions you shouldn't have to make. Instead, you're pretending to understand design systems while managing their uncertainty. You're paying $50,000 to become an unpaid project manager of your own project.

Real collaboration is hiring someone who owns the outcome, not the process.

The Trust Terror

Here's what they won't tell you: you have no way to evaluate their work until it's too late.

You're not a designer. You can't tell if their "component library" is genius or garbage. You can't evaluate if their "user experience strategy" will convert visitors or confuse them. You're completely at their mercy, hoping they're competent while knowing you'll only find out when the money is gone and the timeline is blown.

This isn't your fault. This is the business model. Keep you confused, keep you dependent, keep you paying. I know because I used to do it too—before I got sick of billing clients for my own confusion about what I was actually supposed to deliver.

You're not buying a website. You're buying a subscription to anxiety.

Every week explaining to your board why the site isn't ready. Every month moving the launch date. Every quarter watching competitors ship while you're still reviewing wireframes.

The agency gets paid whether your website works or not. You only get paid if it does.

$15,000 sounds expensive until you realize you've already spent $50,000 on wireframes that wire nothing. The premium isn't for speed. It's for certainty.

What Gets Fixed When Everything Else Gets Focused

Time: Five days maximum. Not "approximately five days pending stakeholder review." Friday means Friday.

Autonomy: One decision-maker. No committees. No stakeholder alignment sessions. No approval chains that align no one.

Trust: You hire an expert. The expert executes. No endless explanations, no progress theater, no managing your vendor.

Independence: You own everything. Source code, passwords, hosting accounts. No vendor lock-in, no maintenance subscriptions, no one holding your business hostage.

Clarity: Fixed scope, fixed timeline, fixed price. No change orders, no surprise fees, no "it's more complex than we thought."

Here's what agencies won't tell you: they bill you for their learning curve. Every "discovery workshop" is them figuring out your business on your dime. Every "stakeholder session" is them avoiding decisions they should make. Every "methodology" is them following someone else's homework because they don't know what they're doing.

I've been in those internal meetings. I've watched teams spend weeks creating wireframes just to have something to show. I've seen projects stretched to hit budget targets, not quality targets.

When everything is constrained, everything gets focused. When nothing is constrained, nothing gets finished.

Who This Serves

You don't need to love the journey. You need to love the destination.

Sprint Zero serves founders who:

• —Want autonomy from vendor management
• —Need clarity over endless explanations
• —Value independence over ongoing relationships
• —Demand trust without surveillance
• —Measure victory in results, not process

Saying no to bad fits is saying yes to great work.

24 sprints per year. That's 30 days of actual work. I'm not running an agency—I'm running a scalpel. Sharp, precise, unavailable when you don't need surgery.

Most founders aren't ready for this. They want to "explore options," "align stakeholders," "validate assumptions." The comfortable theater of preparation. If that's you, hire an agency. They'll meet with you for months.

I bet my business on your deadline. $15,000 for certainty instead of anxiety. In return: your website goes live Friday. You own everything. I disappear—and you're finally free from vendor relationships.

Live website or total refund. No negotiations. No exceptions.

This is professional execution without professional theater.

Choose Differently

Two spots per month. First come, first served. No VIP queue. No "priority" partnerships. No exceptions.

The only question: Are you ready to stop managing and start shipping?

Your deadline isn't aggressive. Your process is bloated.

Decision within 24 hours.
Wire transfer due within 72 hours.
Work begins Monday.

From zero to live in 5 days.